Welcoming twins is an incredible blessing, but let’s be real, the first month will be a whirlwind of pretty much pure chaos (and love, plenty of love too!)
With some excellent preparation, communication, and the right mindset, you can navigate this brand new world of twin life a little bit easier, and find a little more joy in the hard moments.
Here’s a practical guide from a twin mum to help you survive (and maybe even enjoy!) the first month with your newborn twins.
Practical tips for newborn twins
Synchronize Schedules
Generally speaking, one of the golden rules of twin parenting is to get both babies on roughly the same schedule as quickly as possible. I often see in other parenting forums and parenting advices that the bedtime routine is super important. I agree, but not with newborns, and certainly not with two of them!
Focus instead on patterns during the day, to encourage as much synchronised sleep as possible. Don't be concerned about strict timetables or wake windows (yes, they can help guide you if you're uncertain) but they may work, or they may stress you out more. And remember, you are dealing with two individual little babies, who may have completely different sleep needs. My Twin B, for example, needed at least an hour less sleep than her twin sister in those early days, and heading into the 6-12 month range, it was sometimes closer to a 2-hour difference!
Synchronisation, but without stressing, is the best motto.
Accept All the Help
If family or friends offer to help, say yes! Whether it’s cooking a meal, folding laundry, or watching the twins while you shower, accepting support is essential. Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks—your time and energy are precious. If you suck at accepting help, then practice during your pregnancy.
You will find, very quickly, that when people offer to help, they genuinely mean it. And if they don't offer? Try asking (nicely). Most times, people who aren't familiar with twins are just a little lost with HOW to help, and may be over the moon if you approach them with a list of things they can help you with.
Prep Like a Pro
Preparation is your best friend. Stockpile essentials like nappies, wipes, and clothes before the twins arrive. Keep a “grab-and-go” station stocked with bottles, cloths, and changing supplies to make nighttime feeds and changes easier.
Practice using the essentials too - don't wait until you have two screaming babies to figure out how to use the bottle steriliser! Do a couple of trial runs before they arrive, so that you've got it under control. Better yet, get your friends and family over for a trial run too, so they can jump in and help you at any time!
Master the Art of Babywearing
I'm going to preface this by saying that I didn't actually embrace babywearing until my 4th baby came along! I really didn't take to it with my first (a singleton) and so when my twins arrived, it didn't really come second-nature to me, and it felt like just another thing I had to learn.
However, with a little perspective on it, I feel like babywearing can be a game-changer for parents of twins, as it will allow you to soothe one baby hands-free, whilst attending to the other. Don't feel you have to invest in a double carrier, at least not straight away - try it out with an affordable single carrier, and then see if you get the hang of it.
I must say, baby wearing is also such a lovely way to bond with your babies, and if you want to keep them safe when out in public, it is also an excellent way to keep them close and away from inquisitive but sometimes boundary-crossing members of the public.
Prioritize Self-Care
I'm going to say this one loud for the people in the back. YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP!!!
Please make self-care a priority. Sneak in naps when you can, eat nourishing snacks (bonus points for preparing a freezer stash beforehand), and ask for emotional support from loved ones. Even five minutes to yourself can recharge your energy and patience. A shower can feel like the greatest thing when you have newborns, because you literally can't hear anything. Focus on your breathing and calmness.
Have the hard conversations
Before the twins arrive, have some heart-to-heart discussions with your partner. Talk openly about how you’ll handle sleep deprivation, who will take night shifts, and how to support each other when one of you reaches your “limit.” Plan strategies for taking breaks so both of you can recharge.
This could be as simple as having a codeword when you are at your physical or emotional limit. This code word signals to your partner that you are at your limit, but you're not able to verbalise that properly in the moment. It should be your partner's cue to take the babies from you, let you walk away for a while, and engage in whatever the activity is that you need to give you peace at that time. It could be taking a shower, going for a quick drive in the car by yourself, or sitting in the garden with earphones on.
I promise, having these conversations before the babies arrive will make so much difference to your happiness as a couple.
(P.S. if you're looking for an awesome t-shirt for a twin dad, check out our link here).
Common challenges with newborn twins
Sleep Deprivation
Tag-team with your partner to take shifts. Having a predictable schedule for nighttime duties can help both parents get some rest. Consider, for example, one parent 'logging off' at 7pm, and going to bed for sleep. The other parent can then stay 'on duty' until midnight or so, before you switch over. This will then give you each an un-interrupted block of sleep.
Feeding Struggles
Tandem breastfeeding positions or a solid bottle-feeding setup can make feeding sessions smoother. A lactation consultant can also be a valuable resource and I'd highly encourage you to make sure you feel comfortable with whatever your feeding routine is before you bring your twins home.
If you need more time in the hospital to figure this out - then advocate for yourself. Tell your healthcare provider that you need more time, and if your concerns are not listened to, then escalate the issue.
Feeling Overwhelmed
Grounding exercises or mindfulness techniques can help you stay present. Take deep breaths, focus on the moment, and remember that you’re doing an amazing job.
Ok, I know these are great ideas, but sometimes they won't click for you. Here's some other bonus tips:
- Get some noise cancelling headphones. Crying babies are designed to cry at a frequency that causes your brain to become anxious and alert (it's by design). Cut out some of those incredibly difficult noises by using noise cancellation (carefully, of course). This helped me more than I can express to actually regulate my own emotions during unsettled periods with my twins.
- Go outside. Seriously, just take the babies outside and put them on a rug. Find some trees that are moving, let the dog walk past them (carefully) and give them something to look at in nature. Babies and kids love nature, they are naturally attuned to it, and you will notice an instantaneous improvement in their disposition (try it out, I promise it works!)
- Use the car, but only if your twins are generally good in the car (otherwise you will find it too stressful). If your babies sleep in the car reasonably well, then to supplement your nap schedules, do a drive when they are ready to sleep. Get yourself a coffee, put on a good podcast, and drive. Or just go and find somewhere scenic to sit with the car running, and let them sleep. You don't need to feel guilty about sitting somewhere random whilst your babies sleep, just make sure you have something to keep you amused (and that you are being safe!).
Humor and Perspective
The first month with twins is tough, but it’s also fleeting. Remind yourself that these early challenges are temporary, and soon you’ll look back and it won't be so hard. Sharing funny anecdotes or connecting with other twin parents can lighten the load (on that note, make sure you check out your local Multiple Birth Association, they are amazing!).
Make yourself feel good - celebrate the unique joy of being a twin mum with the Twin Mama Flowers T-Shirt as a little reminder of the amazing journey you’re on. A glimpse in the mirror to remind you just how special you are might be all you need.
